One More Time

In these times of hardship, the banks have quite rightly been getting it right in the neck for crumbling this once great country to the brink of oblivion – however for the common man, the bank should still be seen to be a place of trust, or good management with our precious monetary assets.

We’re in a lucky position right now that we are making enough money from the band to warrant opening a proper band bank account. The days of Emma taking the couple of quid here and there and putting it in a nice piggy bank on her mantelpiece are now gone.

So, back in July we all wondered in to Bracknell town centre with the paperwork required to set up our account with this particular ‘reputable high street bank’, who are still (to my knowledge) one of the few who haven’t needed to worry about Government bail-outs. We thought this was a good sign, and as a few of us have banked with them for a long time, couldn’t really see any issues.

We gave all the details over to an affable bald chap, who duly took all our forms of ID, got our signatures and promptly sent the paperwork through. Done and dusted – great. Within a few days we’ll have a band bank account that will be so much easier to deal with than our current set-up.

Cue the 5th of November – some 4 months later and after the 5th copy of the mandate is sent out to us to sign AGAIN, another phone call is received by an ever increasingly irate Gethin – we believe this to be at least the 12th one he’s taken from this ‘reputable high street bank’. Still no account…..apparently one of the addresses they have is wrong, even though the correct one was confirmed to them on more than one occasion.

It appears the only thing wrong in this situation are the people that work for this bank. I don’t know whether the whole economic climate issues have frightened this ‘reputable high street bank’ – but it appears they are doing all they can to not open accounts. I blame the bloke with the dodgy eyebrows who always looks incredibly smug once a year while holding up a tattered red briefcase, which contrary to popular belief doesn’t hold the budget paperwork – but the latest copy of Viz and a moldy peach he forgot to eat a week last Thursday.

Anyway – in honour of this monumental hassle we’ve had, Emma has decided to pen the following poem, which may or may not turn in to a song at some point. A peanut to each of you who guesses the bank – it really isn’t that hard.

One More Time – By Emma Johnson (copyright All Things Considered 2009)

‘One more time’ they said to me
I’ve heard these words before
But still I trust, still I hope
It’ll be right this time for sure

But no it’s wrong again it seems
What’s your excuse this time
Just a few minor details
Where do we draw the line

But we forgive, we try again
They’ll get it right – you’ll see
But no, they still want more from us
The fricking _ _ _ _

We even went to see the man
Who claims to be the boss
But he was useless & a waste of time
We’re really at a loss

All we want is an account with you
Don’t play so hard to get
Or we’ll take our custom elsewhere
Your bank we will forget

One more time, it’s all we’ll give
You’d better get this rightOr we’ll release this wonderful track
Telling how _ _ _ _ are shite


In other news – if you’re London based we’re at The Slaughtered Lamb in Clerkenwell this Saturday, on sometime after 9pm - £5 on the door. Alternatively, you can pop along and see us in Lewisham next Thursday. We’ll be doing 2 short sets from 8pm at The Station Hotel, which is right outside Lewisham station, funnily enough. Free entry for that one. Hope to see you there!